Night Shift Shenanigans

So, I’m on nights on a busy surgical unit. My friend NewGradRN goes into a room to take vitals on Crabbypatient in with some broken vertebra, non surgical. This lovely person was in a private room because his yelling and cursing kept up all the other the patients.  The door is closed, presumably so we can’t hear him yelling at his poor wife. She immediately comes back out and slams the door shut. Then politely enquires of our charge nurse “so...what do we do if we walk in a patient having sex?...hypothetically speaking”
SuperCharge “You go back in and tell them to STOP”
NewGradRN “yeah..I’m not gonna do that...but you can”
So, SuperCharge goes in and yells at them to stop, this a hospital, not a cheap hotel.  They stop! He gets moved back to a ward room shortly after that. During all this, I’m at the desk, tears streaming down my face. When NewGrad comes back and sits down, I say “you know,  if you can do that with a busted back, you can go home